The New Ford Maverick Is Just What We Need, Kind Of…

Thank God for the Ford Maverick. The Maverick will hold a special spot in the world thanks to its all-wheel-drive (not 4X4) and two-foot bed. It’ll offer a 2.0L Eco-boost engine or a hybrid model with about 15 turtle power, plenty to pull around lots of truck things. I can see it now, an artist from New York City loading their sculpture into the back of the truck and hauling it to the exhibit. Then after selling it to some dumbass collector for 100 times what it’s actually worth (I respect the hustle) and then driving to the Dan and Shay concert with a cowboy hat on and goochie boots, screaming every word to “Tequila” while sipping on a Twisted Tea talking about “how country I am.”

           Anyone who has seen “City Boy Stuck” by Earl Dibbles Jr., aka Granger Smith, has a little Ford Focus gets stuck in the mud. Thanks to the Ford Maverick, Granger can redo the video and just throw the Maverick in it. Listen, I’m a Ford guy, and they are just the first of the companies to come out with the new “city truck,” but the branding sucks. If you want, you can put a singular bike in the bed with a bike rack. They also advertise a bed divider, but what the fuck reason would you have to divide the bed? Maybe if you had a water bottle that you didn’t want to roll around, it would be helpful, but nothing else will physically fit.

           Why do I like the truck so much? It’ll give plenty of people plenty of reasons to laugh at city boys. I can already see me having a conversation with one of these posers, saying, “Oh yea, I just got me a pickup, that new Maverick. I always wanted a truck but never really needed one, but this one gets 40 mpg and can haul anything I really need it to.” Then I can respond with, “bud, my tires are bigger than your entire truck” or “it isn’t a pickup if it can fit in the bed of my pickup.” I don’t see the desire for these new tiny trucks. Hell, the new F-150 has that five-foot bed, and that’s so tiny that it can’t even hold a fishing pole or a pallet in it. What do people do with this little amount of space?

           I’m sure that these trucks will probably sell very well. I’m not exactly sure why they would, but they will. It does have an onboard generator which is pretty cool, but at the same time, Ford advertises that it’s really good for pumping up bike tires… that’s neat. It’s not good at being stylish either, it makes the Ranger look good, and until now, I thought the Ranger was as generic-looking as the color white. It shares the underpinnings of the Bronco Sport and the Escape, which are both true blueblood vehicles. It’s perfect, really, having a fake truck sharing a platform with the fake Bronco.

           As I said before, it’ll sell. I don’t know why anyone would want these things, but they start at just 20 grand, so it’s a cheap pickup. I’m sure you won’t be able to find one on the lot for under 25 grand, but that’s significantly cheaper than any larger trucks on the lot. Even before the CDC destroyed the American economy, you couldn’t find a new F-150 for under 40 grand, and a Super Duty was over 50 easily. At the end of the day, you get what you pay for, so if you work at, say, a flower shop, and want to move a singular flower at a time, then this truck is for you. Ford just had a disappointing upset in the Truck Brand Bracket you can see here. However, if you want to say buy a six-pack of beer, I wouldn’t try to haul it with the new Maverick.


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