Neighborly Drama

I cannot seem to catch a break as of late. Baseball is in a weird place in the world, constant vehicle issues, and now I have to deal with my neighbors every single day of my life. Neighbors have to be one of the worst things in the world, and I have absolutely no idea what to do to fix any of it. There is a massive field with long grass separating me and one of my neighbors. I don’t think the field has been cut or trimmed even once. All the garbage and shit that resides in the field, you never know what you may find.

The neighbor on the other side of that field is a total asshole, and I’m pretty sure he is the owner of the field. He leaves shit everywhere, which normally would bother me, but around his home is exactly like the field in between, never cut or trimmed, and it seems he hasn’t showered in months. I went to a tag sale he had recently, and it was disgusting the smells that came from him. Have you ever eaten Taco Bell and it didn’t quite agree with you? Yeah, think about that, and picture my neighbor prancing around trying to sell crap to strangers. It should honestly be illegal, and he shouldn’t be able to be around the general public at all. And even HE doesn’t compare to my other neighbor.

My other neighbor lives right in front of me, and is always hanging around in my space. At least he cuts his grass a bit more often, so its not so bad, but I’d almost rather he didn’t. He “waters” his grass all of the time and for some reason, I happen to be watching him every single time. He isn’t shy at all, and has to be in and out of everyone’s business. His hair is also always a mess, like he doesn’t care how he looks one bit. He doesn’t normally smell, but everytime the mailwoman on our street comes by she looks at him grossed out.

When he gets excited about something and you’re talking to him, he has a tendency of spitting in your face. Instead of just being normal, he’s gotta shoot what he’s talking about right at your face. You almost need a towel when you’re talking to him like that just to wipe your face after. And even after all of this, there are many women that STILL go over and hang out with him. They must get sick of it though, because after an hour or so of them talking, usually they’re out the door. I’ve actually talked to a few of them myself, and the few that spend the night actually say he sleeps straight up all night, and it makes sleeping with him super uncomfortable. Good thing is, I guess I’m a bit more tolerable since I’m much more chill.

Now, I’m not a stand up neighbor all the time, but i’m a product of the 2 around me. If they dont cut their grass, normally mine won’t get cut either. There is no point in mowing my lawn, if my neighbors don’t care to do it often enough. But all I really do is just hang out, and I still have more important jobs than they do, and work far harder to make a living. The frustration is mounting, and i’m not exactly sure what to do. I’m really contemplating sacking up and laying it out exactly how it is, they are the worst neighbors ever. 

Thank you all for reading a short story about my balls. Have a great day!