10 Country Artists Who Like to Party

            Let’s fucking go. What country artist do you want to get fucked up with? In the past, it was well documented that artists had major drinking and drug problems. Today that doesn’t seem to be the case because of PR people and all that stuff. Still, I can’t imagine that there are no fun partying country people in 2022. Saying that these are the 10 artists that would be the most fun to party with. I don’t have much evidence, but based on what artists put out on the gram. Without further ado, here is the list.

10. Riley Green

Fuck Riley Green and how perfect he is. He’s attractive, has the voice of an angel, hunts, and has amazing flow. Why wouldn’t you want to go out on the town with him? He will get all the ladies coming in flocks, and guys, can we blame them? My man seems like he is always sipping on something. Also, the fact that he’s still single all points to a Riley Green being a fun ass night.

9. Luke Combs

 I don’t know if Luke Combs is rowdy or not. Based on his past teaming up with Upchurch, plus his ability to shotgun a beer, I would have to say he is. On top of this, he has a solid posse around him. His wife is hot as fuck and I’m sure she has friends that are equally as attractive. I imagine that after a good show he can get fucked up and have a good time.

8. The Tim Montana/Michael Ray crew

  A little less known than others, Tim Montana is hilarious. If you follow his Instagram, you would see he is hilarious and I imagine he would be any less fun in person. Scrolling through his page, you see many photos of the long hair wildman rocking Pit Vipers, or kissing another dude because he lost a bet. He might also be sitting in a bathtub playing with toy cars and drinking… a lot. He also has hung out with ZZ Top leadman Billy F. Gibbons, Kid Rock, and Michael Ray.

 Speaking of Michael Ray, I’m not sure when exactly I flipped my opinion on his music, but I’m happy I did. His first album was on the pop side of country music, but his newer stuff is fantastic. He has a little bit of image repair to do because of his early stuff, but I could see him being very popular in the future. These guys combined, along with the legends mentioned above would be an insane night.

7. Ryan Upchurch

 So I will say this with a little caveat. Church isn’t much of a drinker and I’m not much of a smoker, so our particular types of partying might not match up perfectly. Saying that though, I can’t imagine an “on night” of Upchurch wanting to throw down is beatable by much. My man pretty much calls his shot and grinds his way to whatever he wants. I want to be a part of that, whether it’s going down to Broadway in Nashville or having some of the boys over to the house for a wild night in.

6. Justin Moore

  Justin admits that he isn’t the wild partier that he used to be. Still, I can’t imagine that on the right night he doesn’t have it in him. My guy passed out one night after recording his podcast under his desk. He has many times had to apologize for being too drunk. Justin and his tour manager, JR, have often talked about nights after the show being hammered and calling legends like Brantley Gilbert, Tracey Lawrence, and more after a show. I wouldn’t expect to wake up in a ditch on a night out with Justin, but I don’t think their’s anything wrong with that.

5. Dustin Lynch

  Dustin is like Riley Green in terms of he’s a good-looking dude who can sing and all that crap that girls love. In the past, he has had a few smoke showgirls in his life, although he is single at the moment. He seems like a chameleon, and that’s why he ranks so much higher than Riley Green. My man has done it all. He’s partied on a yacht in Marina Del Rey and chainsawed and cut trees down on his farm. That’s the guy I want to chill with, the guy who has been everywhere. I met Dustin Lynch one time. His ability to make a 30-second conversation seem like he finds you interesting is incredible.

4. Buck Commander boys

You might be asking who exactly the Buck Commander boys are. That’s a valid question. Country artists Luke Bryan, Jason Aldean, Tyler Farr, plus baseball players Tombo Martin, Ryan Langerhans, Adam LaRoche, and who could forget Willie Robinson make up the squad. First off, these guys have the highest net worth of anyone on the list. This means the best alcohol, the coolest experience, and the nicest stuff. Saying that I do have a caveat to that. I only have these guys this high if we are at deer camp. That eliminates the huge mansions, the nice cars, and all that shit. It forces these guys to be boys and chill with the boys. On their TV show, I’ve seen them pull crazy pranks like destroy rental cars, and often wake up hungover to get out to the stands. It would be a shit ton of fun.

3. Kid Rock

This man doesn’t need much of a description, does he? He’s Kid Rock. My man has out-partied the number 1 partiers on this list. He also put one of them behind bars unintentionally. Every celebrity ever has a wild story about partying at his house, or him partying somewhere. The rapper gone rocker gone country singer is someone I would expect to wake up cuddled up to like a tiger or some shit like that after partying with for the night.

2. Hank Williams Jr.

 Similar to Kid Rock, I would expect to die after one night with Hank. I would expect to walk up to the man, be handed a bottle of whiskey, and then wake up the next morning not remembering a fucking thing. But man, what a great few minutes of pounding that whiskey it would be.

1. Morgan Wallen/Hardy/Ernest

  So the boys get to number one because this is a combination of people I could actually hang with, plus the fun factor. Morgan Wallen’s parting habits have been well documented over the past few years. To be honest I don’t think he’s changed much since all the backlash, which is perfect. Hardy was arrested for smashing car windows not all that long ago. Ernest is out and about about his drugs and drinking habits. On the Theo Von podcast, “This Past Weekend,” he talked about how he spent most of the time hungover on the couch while the other two wrote “More than my Hometown.”

  I feel like most people would be in the same boat as me that these guys are the “party guys” on the current generation of country stars. Florida Georgia Line were the guys before, but since being wifed up they seem to have calmed down a little. I imagine these guys are fucking reckless, and will likely get you either arrested or very close to it.

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10 Artists Upchurch Should Team Up With

Obviously, it’s been no secret that Upchurch has made it his life mission to take down mainstream country. However, he had massive success teaming up with a country legend in Clay Walker. This got me thinking, who are other artists that Upchurch could team up with that would not only benefit him, but benefit both artists? I tried to pick artists who are wild cards or outlaws. Artists who failed at making it into the traditional country mold or have similar followings to Upchurch. Here are my picks.

10. Tyler Farr

            Tyler Farr came on strong, with “Redneck Crazy,” “Whiskey in My Water,” and “A Guy Walks into a Bar.” Then his career sort of went the wrong direction, and he hasn’t had a hit since. The thing with Farr though is that despite not having radio success in almost ten years, he still is relatively relevant. Currently he is on Night Train Records, Jason Aldean’s label under the Broken Bow umbrella. That might stop this from ever happening, but let’s look at why it could be good.

            Tyler Farr already has appeared on multiple songs with Colt Ford. “Chicks, Trucks, Beer” was on his first album, and “My Truck” was on Colt Ford’s “Love Hope Faith” album. Upchurch is definitely a less PC version of Ford, so it would be a step further than that sort of clean rap, but instead of fighting to be relevant to an entire country maybe try to become relevant in a new lane. Tyler Farr has always come across to me as a real redneck, so why not join Upchurch and appeal to that crowd?

9. Trey Lewis

            Anyone ever hear of “Dicked Down in Dallas?” Listen, if Trey Lewis can turn his success from this song into long term radio success, then good for him. But there isn’t much precedent for viral songs like this to the artist into radio success long term, but never say never. However, if Trey Lewis doesn’t make it on radio, why not dip back into what made him famous? Lewis and Upchurch in a room together could lead to hilarious music. “Dallas” will make Lewis have a career in music forever if he wants it, but I think aligning with underground country rap would help him with peak popularity.

8. Florida Georgia Line

            This will probably never happen, just saying it up front. However, the band that lead Nelly to put out a “country” EP could lead the charge in bringing country rap truly mainstream. I also think there’s a chance that Upchurch wouldn’t want to work with FGL, so that dynamic would be interesting, but I think they could make some magic. Imagine the heat that Upchurch could bring to “Cruise” if he was on it instead of Nelly. Just let that set in. Maybe I’m crazy, but I think this would be a sick combo.

7. Trace Adkins

            If it wasn’t for his newest album, Trace wouldn’t be on the list. However, since then he has released music with both Pitbull and Snoop Dogg. Trace has been a polarizing figure in country music for much of his career, but I don’t think he really gives a shit. “Honky Tonk Badonkadonk” is a song that will forever live in infamy as one of the weirdest jams in country music history. What does Trace have to lose by teaming with Upchurch?

            It would actually be perfect. Upchurch would gain because he would get another legit huge name on one of his songs. Although it isn’t Alan Jackson like he might prefer, Trace is a respected name that never really had his “countryness” doubted. It might be worth it for the two to go in together on a song.

6. Josh Thompson

            Thompson never really had radio success as an artist, but for anyone who knows his music, its fucking fantastic. I honestly think of him as Morgan Wallen, just ten years to early. After trying hard and being disrespected, he gave up and went into song writing. Recent songs to his credit include “One Margarita” “Drowns the Whiskey” “I’ll Name the Dogs” and “Ain’t Always the Cowboy” among many other hits. I think that he could write a good ole hit with Upchurch, something that mixes “Black Sheep” with some of his more country songs. Josh Thompson isn’t the household name that some of the other people on the list are, but I think the quality of this song would be better than anyone.

5. Kid Rock

            This is where the list turns into artists, I think who would be cool to team with Church to artists that I actually could see making it happen. Imagine the guy who helped get Morgan Wallen in trouble one time teaming with the guy who publicly said the Morgan Wallen drama was a bunch of bullshit. The guy who has been in trouble with the media at least 1,000 times, yet still has one of the best bars in the entire city of Nashville. The guy has a song called “Bawitdaba” where the first minute and a half he just yells his name. He also did the exact same thing Church did, going from rap to rock to country. He had a few hits like “All Summer Long” and “Picture.” I think a night of Upchurch and Kid Rock together would be great for Instagram as well. I think the rap song that would come out of these guys coming together would be fucking amazing.

4. Wheeler Walker Jr.

            This combination would be absolutely electric. The guy behind the songs, “Fuck You Bitch,” “Drop ‘Em Out” and “Eatin’ Pussy/Kickin’ Ass” combining with the guy behind songs like “Rolling Stoned.” I can only imagine what type of music would come out of these two smoking a bunch of weed and writing together. Wheeler Walker hasn’t had music out in a few years now, and, his next album will probably get him canceled the day its released, but it’ll be fantastic. The best thing about these guys is that they don’t give a shit about cancel culture. They aren’t trying to be offensive to anyone, but they don’t have a filter either and will say exactly what they feel. They are almost uncancelable however because of that, they are just going to keep coming back.

3. Craig Campbell

            I really think this is going to happen, and I think I created this if it does. Craig Campbell is the definition of having bad luck in his music career, yet he has managed to stay relevant because of his talent. His song “Keep them Kisses Coming” was on its way to #1 when his record label abruptly closed, and the song dropped off the chart. A few years later he released “Outskirts of Heaven” which was easily the best song of 2016, yet the radio deemed it “to country” and it didn’t gain radio traction.

            Backed by a new investor, Campbell has the freedom to pave his own career path. His new song “Never Mine” was sent to radio, but unfortunately since radio is just a bullshit record label game, it probably won’t get the airtime it deserves. Recently, Campbell teamed with Cypress Spring and Demun Jones on the song “Take Me Back” which is a fantastic country rap song. Campbell has done a number of other features on underground artists like Kristen Kelly and Justin Lee Partin.

            So why should an Upchurch combo come as a result of this? Upchurch recently teamed with another artist that feels like he is similar to Campbell at this stage of his career in Clay Walker. Walker had a few number ones in the 90s, and has had a fantastic career, but his newer music doesn’t sell the same as it did in his prime. I think Campbell also matches this and is a big enough name that it would bring attention to Upchurch’s music. Both artists could receive bumps from teaming up, plus I think the song that would come out of it would be fantastic.

2. Brantley Gilbert

            I don’t want a Church/Gilbert country song. Give me a Creeker 3 hard core rock song from these guys. Let’s be honest, no one turns to Gilbert to get a fix of traditional country music, we listen to him because he’s modern-day southern rock. I want to see the two guys just absolutely tear it up. Unfortunately, this will never happen, because of one name, Big Machine Records. Big Machine will never let Brantley do music with the guy who is trying to take them down, so this will have to be a dream that stays just that. If you want to get a fix of what it might sounds like, just play “Read Me My Rights” and “Hillbilly Psycho” at the same time, and then imagine a crossover.

1. Justin Moore

            This one was easy and let me spoil it by just repeating Big Machine Records with Justin as I did Brantley. But damn the song would be amazing. Upchurch regularly names Justin in his songs, “Hey Boy, Hey Girl” comes to mind. I think the fanbases between the two are very similar, so it would produce good numbers. Justin is only thirty-seven, so he probably has at least another eight years of relevance, but eventually the radio will move on. This could be a cash cow for Justin, turning into the biggest name that is willing to work with country rap artists. It makes a lot of sense for the two to come together, but unfortunately, like Gilbert, it’ll be a long time if it ever happens. If you want to hear this combo together, listen to “Black Sheep” with “Jesus and Jack Daniels.”

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